SEPT 29 2023
11:23 PM
wow re-reading my blog posts here makes me seem like a rlly depressing person. i swear i'm not that gloomy😅. i guess i don't want to come off as really embarrassing or uncool so i try not to say too much or say anything unnecessary/cringe... ......

anywayz as for this blog post hmmm i don't really have anything interesting to say.... i am enjoying fall so far. lately i have been watching a lot of TV, playing video games, and listening to music. here's a quote from the book i'm reading dance dance dance:

“was i doomed to rot, muttering away to myself like this in this elephants' graveyard of advanced capitalist society?”
AUG 15 2023
8:54 PM
here is a quote from the book i am currently reading hard-boiled wonderland and the end of the world:

“listen. i may not be much, but i'm all i've got. maybe you need a magnifying glass to find my face in my high school graduation photo. maybe i haven't got any family or friends. yes, yes, i know all that. but, strange as it might seem, i'm not entirely dissatisfied with life... i feel pretty much at home with what i am. i don't want to go anywhere. i don't want any unicorns behind fences.”
MAY 28 2023
3:52 PM
it makes me cringe like crazy to read my own blog posts, i always end up deleting everything. maybe i should delete this page altogether.. maybe instead i can share quotes i like.

here is one from a book i read recently a wild sheep chase:

“people can generally be classified into two groups: the mediocre realists and the mediocre dreamers. you clearly belong to the latter. your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer.”
FEB 19 2023
5:04 PM
i'm bored, always so bored. i bore myself endlessly. idk what i'm doing with my life. i'm living the same week over and over. it's not necessarily bad, but it's just so monotonous. i haven't really been able to draw or write anything of interest for the last few months... maybe the last year or so. just feels like the well has gone dry and i've become just another cynical adult.
JULY 16 2022
11:27 AM
somehow i think it is better to live in a melancholic neutral state, rather than living through too extreme highs and lows. to me it's better to feel like i have nothing to lose. maintaining a steel barrier around myself, others at a safe distance where no one can affect me. i don't want to live with the fear of losing something. i'd rather detach myself as much as possible so as to never feel anything. it's worked out well enough for me this far. it's fine if i stay shut up in my room forever.